Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
