i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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