Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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