I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
