where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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