Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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