apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
