people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
