my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
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