omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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