It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
