And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
