what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
