It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
