He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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