Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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