Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
