I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize