i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
