ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
