What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
