Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think my vagina is haunted
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
