i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
