I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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