I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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