But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
