i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
