You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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