This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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