I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
