if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize