I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
