she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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