I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
