So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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