end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
