i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
