Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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