you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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