I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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