If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
