Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
