...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
