to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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