maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
