he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
