I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
