why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
