either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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