One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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