she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm both gender and math confused
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize