It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
