I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
