omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
