billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
