We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm getting married
To pizza
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize