dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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