Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
