I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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