it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
