He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
