apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
