I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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