she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
